Note: This list is based off of my own personal opinion of what I thought were the worst movies released in 2015, it's also important to remember that I was not able to see every movie released this year.
The old expression "Oh how the mighty have fallen" doesn't even come close to describing the Wachowskis. For those who don't know the Wachowskis were the creative minds behind one of cinemas best sci-fi movies, "The Matrix." Everyone was sure that they were going to be the next big thing, but after "The Matrix" their careers have gone down the toilet. With bad movie after bad movie, 2015's sci-fi epic "Jupiter Ascending" seemed like their last chance for redemption; what resulted was arguably their worst movie to date. A convoluted mess featuring bad performances, cringe worthy dialog, and an overabundance of unnecessary CGI culminate in one of the year's least interesting movies. I was actually impressed by how boring a big budget blockbuster like this could be. I really wanted to like "Jupiter Ascending" because I really want to like the Wachowskis. But all this movie amounted to be was uninteresting, and unimpressive waste of potential.
You know, I'm actually impressed that they managed to get a third movie out of this embarrassment of a movie series. Granted, it is about as good as a third movie involving having someone's mouth sewn to someone else's anus would be. In this movie, the warden at the worst prison in Texas has to find a solution to his violent prisoners. And after watching the first two "Human Centipede" movies he gets inspired, and makes a 500 person long chain out of the inmates. Now you're probably asking yourself, "How one earth could this not make it higher on this list." The answer is simple; it wasn't as hard to watch as the other movies on this list. It's by no means a good movie, but it knows it's a joke. The movie makes fun of itself and its predecessors multiple times, it knows it’s not a real movie and it rolls with it. The people behind it set out to make a ridiculous, vulgar, repulsive, and terrible movie. And they accomplished just that.
If you've ever spent five minutes talking to me about movies, you'd know my general disdain for the "Divergent" series. "Divergent" was actually a movie I was somewhat looking forward to, I thought it looked fairly interesting. But when I sat down to watch it in the theater it was one of the most painful movie going experiences of my life. I can't even remember how many times I checked my watching asking "how much longer can it be." "Divergent would go onto to be number three on my list of the worst movie of 2014. Now a year later I can safely say that the sequel "Insurgent" is just as bad. Boring, sub-par CGI, a messy plot, bad acting, and terrible dialog are just a few of the many problems this movie suffers through. But for some reason, the third movie in this series is still on its way; and if I had to guess, I'd say that it won't be particularly good either. I can't say that "Insurgent" is the worst movie I saw this year, but it's still pretty damn terrible.
When I first heard that the YouTube channel Smosh was getting their own, fully fledged movie, I cringed. From the get go it seemed like such a horrendously bad idea, because the sense of humor that they have in their videos is best meant for a few minutes of a time. For an hour and a half straight, there was no possible way it could work; and, obviously, it didn't. "Smosh: The Movie" is essentially one of their online sketches dragged out for an hour and a half, and not even one of their funnier ones. It's nothing but juvenile humor and pop culture references. While I'm fairly sure the target audience for this movie is a ten year old boy, that doesn’t excuse it from being one of the year's least funny comedies. So if you have 90 minutes free, watching this movie would be one of the last things you do. Better uses of your time would include going to the gym, watching "Breaking Bad," or watching paint dry. The only way anyone could enjoy this movie would be if they were intoxicated, and the amount of alcohol you would need would almost certainly be enough to warrant a trip to the hospital.
What could I possibly say about "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2," other than the fact that it shouldn't exist. If I were to make a list of movies that didn't need a sequel, "Paul Blart: Maul Cop" would probably be somewhere on that list. So what happens when a bad movie gets a sequel? Generally, it is also bad. "Mall Cop 2" is a generally unfunny comedy, with over the top and embarrassing acting from the stars. I think I laughed once during this movie, and it was nothing more than a chuckle. "Mall Cop 2" pulled the same thing as "The Hangover" did, in that it essentially recycled the plot where the unsuspecting hero has to stop the professional criminals. The main problem is that it mostly just rehashes jokes from the original. There's no reason why this movie should have been made, any charm or likable qualities of the original are gone, and you're just left with an unimpressive mess of a movie. You'd laugh more if you skipped seeing this movie altogether, and spent three minutes watching cat videos on YouTube.
For the third year in a row, a parody of "The Hunger Games" has made it on my list of the worst movies of the year; by this point if I never see another one of these parody movies, it will be too soon. Amazingly though, this one might be the worst. "The Internship Games follows a group of young college students who are competing to get an internship at a company. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what kind of movie this is. It tries to be dramatic featuring social and racial commentary, but undercuts itself with comedy; the problem is that this is one of the least funny movies I have ever see, literally every joke falls flat. This doesn't even feel like a real movie, it feels like a movie that was just thrown together and shot by a group of friends in a weekend. The writing is cringe-worthy, the acting is horrendous, the cinematography is horrible, and the jokes (if you can call them that) are random and make no sense. On top of all that, this movie is actually kind of racist and stereotypical. Some of the characters are from ethnic backgrounds for the sole purpose of being made fun of, and are stereotypical portraits of that type of person. All but one of the six applicants going for the internship are black, the other is white. And the only reason she is there is to be made fun of for being different. Every interaction between her and another character is based solely on her race, and being disliked for being white. It's meant to be funny, but does just come off as racist. I could go on and on about how bad this movie is, there really are no redeemable factors. It is straight up, one of the worst movies I've ever seen. This is the type of movie that makes me wonder how the people behind it couldn't realize how bad it was when making it. I wish I didn't spend an hour and a half watching this, but I did and now I can't get that time back; all I can hope now is that I never have to watch it again.
Watch anything produced by Happy Madison this year, and you'll find worse.
ReplyDeleteI go out of my way to not watch anything by Sandler.
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