Note: This list is made up of what I thought were the worst movies released during 2016.
Kevin Smith has been a cult favorite director for over 20 years now. His debut film "Clerks" is widely regarded as a 90s classic, and several of his follow up films such as "Dogma" and "Chasing Amy" are also held in high regard; but since the late 90s, his work hasn't been the best. And amazingly, his latest film "Yoga Hosers" might be his worst. "Yoga Hosers" is a spin-off of Smith's previous movie "Tusk," this time following to minor characters from that movie. Colleen and Colleen (yes, both are named Colleen) are two average high school students who work at a convince store. They love their phones, yoga, playing in their band, and boys who don't know they exist. After inviting a couple guys over to the store after hours, things get a little strange when tiny Nazi wieners begin to attack (seriously, that's the plot of this movie). While this movie may hold the horror for having the stupidest plot I've ever seen in a film, it doesn't have much else going for it; bad writing, visual effects, direction, acting, etc. While it might not be the worst movie of 2016, it's still pretty bad; and it is further proof that Kevin Smith will do anything to get out of making "Clerks 3."
On paper, "Dirty Grandpa" could work; an old man and his grandson traveling and getting in shenanigans, with comedic star Zac Efron and acting legend Robert De Niro. Unfortunately though, the end result isn't particularly good. Richard Kelly is an elderly gentleman whose wife has recently away, and to get away from it all is supposed to go on vacation. His grandson Jason, a corporate layer soon to be married, has been tasked with driving him to his destination. But after spending years dedicated to his deceased wife, Richard decides it's time for him to cut loose. "Dirty Grandpa" misfires on all barrels, acting, writing, directing, etc. But above all else it is one of those rare comedies that has the ability to be entirely unfunny. Throughout the entire run time, I don't think I laughed once. This movie is just an unfunny mess, and a complete waste of my time.
I've always had a strong hatred for the "Divergent" franchise, and nothing about the third installment "Allegiant" made me change my opinion. Both "Divergent" and "Insurgent" were included on my worst of the year lists for 2014 and 2015. Both were half baked, unimpressive movies that tried to capitalize on the success of other teen novels turned movies we've seen over the past decade. "Allegiant" takes place immediately after its predecessor; the rebelling group rounded up the former rulers and are executing them. The city that they've been trapped in opened up briefly, but the citizens are forbidden from leaving. Our main character Tris and her friends want to see what's beyond the wall and what they found out in the wastelands goes against everything they thought they knew. That's the summarized plot, what unfolds in the movie is complete nonsense; filled with more plot holes and convoluted story lines than one movie can afford to have. Like the previous movies, "Allegiant" features boring acting, an uninteresting story, bland performances, unimpressive CGI, and boring writing with flat characters. There's supposed to be one more installment in this franchise, but since "Allegiant" did so poorly at the box office it might not happen. To be honest, I want them to make the movie. Not because I want to see it, but because I need closure from a series that I've hated for years.
This is the type of movie that legitimately makes me wonder how it ever made it into the theater. "Norm of the North" is about Norm, a unique polar bear that travels to New York to save a member of his family. What could have worked as a cute, animated kid's movie turned out to be complete garbage. There are so many things wrong with this movie it's incredible. The writing is dismal and cringe worthy, the animation looks on par with something you'd see on Nickelodeon 5 years ago, the voice acting is phoned in, and the polar bear twerks. I know that I'm not exactly the target market for this movie, but even young children have higher standards than this (I hope they do anyway). "Norm of the North" never should have made it into the movie theater; this should have been a Red Box exclusive or straight to the Disney Channel. All I know is that it ranks among the worst 2016 had to offer.
Spoof movies have never been known for being quality entertainment, but "Fifty Shades of Black" may be a new low for the genre. FSOB is a spoof of 2015's wildly successful "Fifty Shades of Grey," based off of the erotic novel of the same name. The plot is the same as the source material that inspired it, a young woman goes to interview a rich businessman who has an immediate attraction towards her; just imagine that with terrible jokes and various pop-culture references. This is one of those movies that is made simply because doing so is cheap, and it will certainly make a profit; because after watching it, you could tell that no effort was put into it. Unfunny from start to finish, this movie has no reason to exist. Panned by critics and audiences, it is so bad that it makes "Fifty Shades of Grey" look like a competent and well made movie. "Fifty Shades of Black" was one of the least enjoyable movie going experiences of my year, and if I'm lucky I'll never see it again.
When I first saw the trailer for "Nine Lives," I honestly didn't believe that it was real; it looked to stupid to be an actual movie, yet somehow it was real. I'm not sure who sold their soul to get this movie made, but I'm sure they have since regretted it. "Nine Lives" revolves around a business mogul who neglects his family for work, and when he goes to get a cat for his daughter's birthday he switches minds with the cat until he stops taking his family for granted. Basically, this movie is just a remake of the "Shaggy Dog;" but instead of Tim Allen and a dog, this one's about Kevin Spacey and a cat. "Nine Lives" is so pathetically bad, I truly wonder who could enjoy it. The writing, acting, directing, visual effects, and production are laughably bad; I would go so far as to call this one of the worst movies I've seen in years. "Nine Lives" has no redeemable qualities; it simply took up 87 minutes of my life that I could never get back.
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